Netflix’s recommendations along with animated shows from my childhood are products of “the Two White Girl Rule” which itself is a product of White Supremacy. It creates imaginary scarcity and pits people who are not White against each other for these usually stereotype-filled roles that often refuse to allow people to exist outside of several binaries. It also almost always doubles down on the big ass racial umbrellas, never giving any depth to the culture, values or traditions of girls featured that are not White because what else is there to know about them other than their skin color and/or eye shape?

These scenes, characters and films make it harder and harder for these behaviors (Blackface, misogynoir, colorism, transphobia, anti-Blackness, etc.) to be labeled as harmful and for those being harmed not to be dismissed or gaslit. It should also be noted that a lot of these underlying behaviors (gaslighting, manipulation, rejection of accountability, stunted emotional maturity, etc.) and narcissism go hand in hand. Harmful behavior does not need to be framed as comical and it most certainly does not need a laugh track.

“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”

My ex-husband is White. I'm trying to remember a time I was around his family and not absolutely horrified by their actions.

The people that do need advocacy are the people stating the harms or bringing harms to your attention, or having a trying to have a conversation with you on how to best move forward in the relationship, and you advocating for someone who's not even a part of the relationship is telling to say the least.

Suicide is one of the top 10 leading causes of death in the United States, with one person dying by suicide every 11 minutes.1 It can be difficult to understand why people commit suicide.

I watched Heathers for the first time in 2018. Que Será, Será by Sly and the Family Stone played at the end of the film and really solidified my decision to kill myself. 

I'm really happy that people get to know this! I'm really glad I've been able to interview people who are willing to share these truths. Thank you Chantell Frazier, Ph.D. (She/Her) for these gems!

In this episode we discuss:
-How to take responsibility of yourself
-Why people need to attempt to make things right
-What values can come against your wellbeing

According to a study by McKinsey & Company in 2022, 63% of diversity and inclusion leadership roles were occupied by White women. I already knew this before seeing the study but what I want to know is what the hell do they be talkin' about?

Without space for White people to do what they need to do, we are constantly expected to hold this space and to tolerate their stunted emotional maturity around their history. I want and they need a White History Month.

I saw a creator once talk about how White women's ongoing celebration of entering the work force completely ignores how  Black women have never been afforded rest. I was reminded of this gem during this holiday, Labor Day. 

Anti-Blackness refers to actions or behaviors that minimize, marginalize or devalue the full participation of Black people in life. The spectrum of anti-Black actions and behaviors spans from unconscious bias to motivated acts of prejudice. They include the tolerance of or indifference to the under-representation, differential success and advancement, or experience of Black people in the university.

In fact many of the people inhabiting islands within the Polynesian triangle and those who proudly call themselves People of the Pacific or Pacific Islanders first migrated from West Africa. Hell, there’s even a place called Melanesia. The White-washing of history, mass genocide and raping of local people has lead many to believe this is not true but I know y’all see the physical features the same way I do. I touched on a lot of this in my pieces Moana is Trash and The AAPI Acronym.

mayed is a design researcher and creative strategist. They bring a critically-informed approach to community-centered design that seeks to advance culturally thriving and sustainably empowering outcomes. Inside and out, mayed is an abolitionist at heart. They seek to articulate the ways in which carceral logics and discourses are reproduced in our lives, and dream of the ways in which we can liberate ourselves and reclaim the freedom to define our own realities.

his is exactly why whenever “the female dollar” or “women’s rights” are mentioned the same White women are showcased without any mention of anyone else effected. The truth is this mediocracy is praised and expected. The idea that White women represent all women is why she has such a cult like following. I covered a lot more on this in my piece The Extremely Intentional Disconnect but you’re still a “Swiftie” because you love not being held accountable for your actions and hope that with very little change to your harmful behavior you’ll be given the same handclaps she receives.

At some point people are going to show you whether they are able and willing to support you. They will show you whether they prioritize your needs. Thank you Mondo Vaden (He/They) for sharing your experiences and teaching us when to walk away!

With more White women assisting in the banning of history being taught in schools, it’s not a surprise to see that some want to ban conversations on empathy as well. Because if you don’t see certain people aka other humans as humans you don’t have to treat them as such. You don’t have to pay them fairly, you don’t have to secure their human rights, you don’t even have to acknowledge their humanity. You can just continue to uphold the disconnect and reap all the benefits.

I’d love for these conversations to happen in school but it’s not looking good with more and more legislation being passed to prevent conversations on race, gender and sexuality. I know many organization’s probably steer away from including parents and children because of the over-sexualization of the LGBTQIA+ community, the community’s relationship with substance use along with the fear of pursuant slander that “the community is grooming children” but the kids are gay. They’ll be gay whether you help them, educate them or not. I’d much rather live in a world where my kid doesn’t have to hide who they are or take years to connect the dots because they didn’t have access to this information.

The BIPOC Complex is what I call it when a person who is not White causes harm and uses the same script as White people but throws in BIPOC. These actions create a dynamic that forces fake solidarity and dismisses appropriation or other harm caused under the umbrella. It begs for a connection or intimate relationship that very little of us have outside the fact that we are not White and that we experience the effects of White Supremacy culture. It screams “we’re all in this together” when history has shown us time and time again that we are not.

Fear is stifling and it also doesn't tell us what to do. No emotions tell us what to do, but without proper regulation, fear can really mess some things up, especially when we put fear at the forefront of our policy making practices, process making practices, or how we build relationships.