No one was there to help me! This is exactly why it's so important to center your truth. Thank you so much Sam M. Huisache for reminding us of the importance and giving us clear steps on how to do so. Please remember centering your truth is the only way to live the healthiest life for you!

The American Dream desperately depends on you worshiping Whiteness. 

hen we share more of ourselves in any space that we are in, we create more space for people to share more of themselves,

The dishonesty and ultimate charade needed to become and remain wealthy in America is now becoming more visible than ever before. These lies, that once satiated our appetites for "success" for years, have left us starving. As we starve, the rich keep demanding we eat. What should we eat?

I think now more than ever we all are being given an inside look to all around us. We are all seeing where our taxes, voices, money, effort and energy have been going and continue to go. I hope we all use this unprecedented insight to continue to demand more light in the darkness, more honesty, more acknowledgement of past wrongdoings and more accountability.

In 2025 I want to spend less time begging. I understand and accept that this is a big ask. Despite understanding this, I  still want to accept that the people that could change my life through monetary contribution are not the same people that would. They are also not the people that follow my work. While capitalism is on its last leg I don’t think I’ll ever be able to “reap the benefits.” 

When we measure abuse or harmful behavior by length of time endured rather than it's impact, we affirm the belief that everyone must endure it for an unspoken amount of time before acting. 

I first want to apologize for the possibility of my work ever being weaponized by those who cause harm. I see the way people are actively attacking DEI and fear my work may lead them to believe I align with their harmful beliefs. I do not.

People who believe in anti-Blackness aren't always able to tout their beliefs proudly and loudly. Most wait in the shadows for seemingly "justified opportunities". When these opportunities arise they run quickly to them and are loud about why Black people deserve to be dehumanized and more. Ryan Ken (@ryan_ken_acts) made a really good video of White people's reaction to Will Smith's slap and how they fantasized of an opportunity to double down on their disdain for us. I can't find it but if you do please send it to me.

Join me in a quick moment of celebration and grief. 

Being Black isn't a crime or a death sentence or an act deserving of punishment but the harmful behaviors perpetuated through the hate of Black people, make it so. When we pretend that these White centering and seeking behaviors are a sure way towards success, we gateway greater harm. We permit harm towards others, ourselves, and our communities. Promoting “foot in the door” antics in any form is harmful.

I recently shared with a client that I don’t use the words “allies”, “ally” or “allyship” in my work. I have said this before but I refuse to use language that I don’t know or I don't agree with the origin of.

Dangling a carrot in front of somebody who is starving is exploitative. It's fucked up. It is a way to get somebody to do something that they wouldn't normally have done, because you are promising to provide something. You know that the individuals you're inviting need money, so you saying it as an incentive so that we show up is exploitative and manipulative. Don't do that.

The announcement of Dr. Claudine Gay's resignation from Harvard reminds me of the amazing interview I had with Dr. Janice Asare Gassam where she authentically shared she got her PHD to "move closer to Whiteness".

The centering of Whiteness, White experiences and White feelings is excruciatingly apparent in those books. Thinness is mentioned often throughout the pieces along with the tying of monetary hoarding to success. There’s absolutely no mention of race, sexual orientation, gender beyond the binary or life outside of marriage, motherhood, business and?

In my work on psychological safety, I constantly note the needed foundations for safe relationships: trust, honesty, respect and the prioritization of safety throughout. They are all intertwined and it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Yet we see these seemingly basic human needs being dismissed by people in positions of power daily.

The people that do need advocacy are the people stating the harms or bringing harms to your attention, or having a trying to have a conversation with you on how to best move forward in the relationship, and you advocating for someone who's not even a part of the relationship is telling to say the least.

Without space for White people to do what they need to do, we are constantly expected to hold this space and to tolerate their stunted emotional maturity around their history. I want and they need a White History Month.

Fear is stifling and it also doesn't tell us what to do. No emotions tell us what to do, but without proper regulation, fear can really mess some things up, especially when we put fear at the forefront of our policy making practices, process making practices, or how we build relationships.

It’s literally titled How to deal with remote work microaggressions but goes on and on about “allyship”. It basically just lists all the microaggressions they can think of for various communities and drops BIPOC as many times as possible. Who are y’all talking to? Lola Bakare (She/Her) shared similar feelings after receiving an email entitled “Want to Be an Ally to Black Women? from Lean In. Lola shared that “another great way to be an ally is to acknowledge your Black subscribers exist.” Both examples credit the writing to the brand and not a specific writer or group of writers. If your target audience is cis White people, you should say that.