Dangling a carrot in front of somebody who is starving is exploitative. It's fucked up. It is a way to get somebody to do something that they wouldn't normally have done, because you are promising to provide something. You know that the individuals you're inviting need money, so you saying it as an incentive so that we show up is exploitative and manipulative. Don't do that.

The people that do need advocacy are the people stating the harms or bringing harms to your attention, or having a trying to have a conversation with you on how to best move forward in the relationship, and you advocating for someone who's not even a part of the relationship is telling to say the least.

Fear is stifling and it also doesn't tell us what to do. No emotions tell us what to do, but without proper regulation, fear can really mess some things up, especially when we put fear at the forefront of our policy making practices, process making practices, or how we build relationships.

Impact is always going to be more important. The impact that you have left on that person, now that they feel unsafe and harmed is more important than what you intended to do or how you intended your behavior to come across.

To clump people together from different groups just because they are being harmed by systems based in White supremacy because we assume that everyone who isn't White receives the same type of harm from these systems is extremely harmful and unsafe.