White Centered Community 🏡 🪧
The word community is being tossed around a lot now and I want us all to be clear about the "communities" being built. The way y'all paid White women 10k to be in an exclusive "community" that gave nothing in return, while a lot of us are out here struggling, still stings til this day.
I thought about this yesterday when answering a prompt by Adriele Parker (She/Her). It made me think about the people who have remained in my community since I've been vocal about my needs, who I am and since I've been more boundaried in my services, time and energy. A lot of people who claimed to be in community with me, no longer are.
When our expectations of community don't align with the people we expect community from, harm is bound to happen. As I've been more intentional in my search for community I hope others will take what I've learned and do the same. Similar identities are not enough. Values and morals must align and when a community isn't vocal about either then we must assume they don't have any. A big red flag for me when considering joining a community is if I have to "apply" to join. Nothing screams exclusivity like a secretive application process led by people no one has ever seen.
Communities that prioritize money differently.
The way the community prioritizes money is also a big one for me. If large amounts of money is required to join, not only is it not a community I can join, but not one I would feel comfortable in, as I assume all members have readily available disposable income, which I do not. Above on the right Robin Divine (She/Her) shows what kind of community she is building and how money is used within it. I recently struggled with this but Robin's actions made it easy for me to keep my minimum on my content here to $1. Like any relationship we enter, vulnerability and consistency are pieces crucial to maintaining a safe and healthy partnership.
Professor Ruha Benjamin calls upon communities to let go of the oppressive status quo.
Lastly, but certainly not least, is the community's proximity to or desire for proximity to Whiteness. If the goal is to appease White people to the point of everyone's detriment, then I'm out. If the leaders of a community have not exclusively renounced the centering of Whiteness, vulnerably shared pieces of their journeys doing so and provided examples of when they have expunged White violence from the community then again, I'm out. White violence includes all forms of antiBlackness (colorism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, etc.).
Build community but be intentional and don't center Whiteness.
K Mataōtama Strohl (They/Them)
K is an award-winning consultant, coach, writer and speaker. K is also the curator of a content space that shares “refreshingly genuine and educational bite sized yet profound insights and experiences”, as well as the host of two popular podcasts.
