blonde, brunette or Black 👱🏻♀️👩🏾🦱
I haven't gotten my hair "done" in years and I completely forgot how differently people treat you. Random White women complimenting my hair was all the push I needed to bring it up in my next therapy session.
K's hair changes throughout the past 2 years
I cut my hair short in 2022. I've realized the shorter my hair the least likely men or White women are to interact with me. I also think me being "visually queer" has something to do with it but my hair and recent weight loss are big factors. This is AntiBlackness, homophobia, transphobia and fatphobia. They are always in the room together because they are all apart of the same family.
I am currently trying to decipher external feelings from my own and on this journey ensuring I'm doing what feels right to me. When you live in a society that constantly affirms any movement towards Whiteness, it's hard to do. This is the extra weight, work and hurdles that people who are not White face daily. The recent case in Texas, where I live, where a judge decided hair discrimination towards children is okay in 2024 doesn't help in the slightest.
While discussions regarding hair color are often propped by White women, the truth is the color of your hair will not get you killed or removed from a place you deserve to be-the same cannot be said about the simple decision to cut or not cut your hair if you're Black.
P.S. While I was trying to add emojis to this piece I realized blonde is the only hair color everyone is allowed to have while other hair colors are attributed to people based on the color of their skin: darker hair color for darker skin tones, so no White women with brown hair.
K Mataōtama Strohl (They/Them)
K is an award-winning consultant, coach, writer and speaker. K is also the curator of a content space that shares “refreshingly genuine and educational bite sized yet profound insights and experiences”, as well as the host of two popular podcasts.
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