Where I First Saw Me
Queerness and Transness make me nostalgic often. I shared recently how Janelle Monae was the most amazing person I ever saw back in 2010 and continues to make me feel seen. I also shared in an interview how the extremely problematic show a Shot of Love with Tila Tequila was the first time I learned the word bisexual and felt like I could finally articulate who I was.
A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila: Sixteen straight guys and sixteen lesbians vie for the heart of cyber-hottie Tila Tequila — but it all starts off as a secret.
There were so many times in my adolescence where I saw myself. Even if the character or artist never say it out loud I felt the warm embrace of representation. Even if the character wasn’t explicitly “out” I felt like I was looking at me. Here’s a list of some of the places I felt like I saw me.
Khadijah James (Honestly the entire cast of Living Single)
Khadijah James and the entire cast of the 90’s sitcom Living Single. Khadijah James Had Lots Of Love Interests On ‘Living Single’ and Seeing That Gave This Curvy Girl Way More Dating Confidence. Khadijah James is the leader and was played by Queen Latifah who has been dating her partner, Eboni Nichols, for over a decade now.
2. Buttercup
Buttercup (voiced by E. G. Daily) is described as a “tough hotheaded tomboy”. Her personality ingredient is “spice”, her signature color is green, and she has short black hair in a flip. She loves to get dirty, fights hard and plays rough; she does not plan and is all action. Many have speculated Buttercup to be transgender, FTM, as seen in the fan art of his sister’s praising his new outfit.
3. Chandler Bing
Chandler Bing played by Matthew Perry has long been speculated to be gay or bisexual. Chandler also has a transgender mother.
4. Juno
Juno MacGuff-Her gruff, tomboyish exterior belies an emotional, sensitive side that she keeps hidden as she can be easily overwhelmed by emotions. She is also prone to making rash decisions without thinking about the consequences of her actions. Juno was played by Elliot Page who has since shared publicly that he is transgender.
Honorable Mentions: 00’s Nicki Minaj and Marceline/Marshal Lee
Nicki Minaj came out as bisexual earlier in her career. Marshall Lee is the boy version of Marceline.
Each of these characters or artists shed their light on me in so many different ways. From rapping about eating pussy, being “big boned”, being “tomboyish”, being bisexual, to being gender fluid or trans, they all tugged on baby K’s hearts strings and made me feel less lonely and weird.
Even as an adult I still take time to acknowledge when I feel like this. I recently interviewed Avi Roque (They/Them) who voiced Raine Whispers in the Owl House on my podcast Absolutely Not! and felt the same feelings. I noticed while making this list that I did not have a lot of queer representation that looked like me growing up. I’m glad the youth of today have a lot more chances to see someone that look like them and to feel just as seen as I did.
K Mataōtama Strohl (They/Them)
K is an award-winning consultant, coach, writer and speaker. K is also the curator of a content space that shares “refreshingly genuine and educational bite sized yet profound insights and experiences,” as well as the host of two popular podcasts.
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