Queerness and Transness make me nostalgic often. I shared recently how Janelle Monae was the most amazing person I ever saw back in 2010 and continues to make me feel seen. I also shared in an interview how the extremely problematic show a Shot of Love with Tila Tequila was the first time I learned the word bisexual and felt like I could finally articulate who I was.

Without space for White people to do what they need to do, we are constantly expected to hold this space and to tolerate their stunted emotional maturity around their history. I want and they need a White History Month.

Exploiting, misdirecting, and lying in order to present your business as Black owned is wrong. Black people and other people who are not White are not props. As a brand, if you are using certain faces to promote your brand while White faces are actually at the helm, stop. I won’t even waste my time on the individuals who do this.

When Janelle shared that they were nonbinary, I remember one post saying that “it’s never okay to assume someone’s identity before they share it but Janelle has always been nonbinary to me.” This validated so much for me. Janelle also shared this information for the first time with Black women on a Black show, this was a great example of Blackness of Queerness coexisting without one being prioritized over the other.

A trans flag and a nonbinary flag meet at the middle. In front of them are people sitting at a table asking questions.

Separating nonbinary people from transness feels like confirmation of cis people’s beliefs that even in transness the gender binary must still be upheld. I wrote on my own understanding of this in Trans Enough. I understand to be trans is to not align with the gender assigned to you at birth, which I do not therefore I am trans. When I see “Nonbinary AND Transgender” it feels like saying “well there’s these people and they're not trans but they’re not cis either”.

I do know that a lot of people do this to ensure nonbinary people know they are being included but in a roundabout way it feels the opposite.

There are a lot of people who believe even if you are trans you must choose and take part in the binary in order to identify as trans. They believe people who refuse to choose should not be allowed to identify as trans until they do. There are also people who believe you should not be able to identify as trans unless you partake in Gender-Affirming Hormone Therapy (GAHT) and Gender Affirming Surgery.

This language saves lives. It allows people to feel safe enough to be their full selves. It creates spaces for people to share the language they’d like used when speaking about their own individual bodies. Without similar language people like those who have been showcased in this article will feel unsafe, excluded and discouraged to speak up. Remember to always be critical of who’s being centered and to ensure you’re being as inclusive as possible with your language in order to create safer spaces for everyone to thrive in.