In my work on psychological safety, I constantly note the needed foundations for safe relationships: trust, honesty, respect and the prioritization of safety throughout. They are all intertwined and it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Yet we see these seemingly basic human needs being dismissed by people in positions of power daily.

Queerness and Transness make me nostalgic often. I shared recently how Janelle Monae was the most amazing person I ever saw back in 2010 and continues to make me feel seen. I also shared in an interview how the extremely problematic show a Shot of Love with Tila Tequila was the first time I learned the word bisexual and felt like I could finally articulate who I was.

Netflix’s recommendations along with animated shows from my childhood are products of “the Two White Girl Rule” which itself is a product of White Supremacy. It creates imaginary scarcity and pits people who are not White against each other for these usually stereotype-filled roles that often refuse to allow people to exist outside of several binaries. It also almost always doubles down on the big ass racial umbrellas, never giving any depth to the culture, values or traditions of girls featured that are not White because what else is there to know about them other than their skin color and/or eye shape?

Anti-Blackness refers to actions or behaviors that minimize, marginalize or devalue the full participation of Black people in life. The spectrum of anti-Black actions and behaviors spans from unconscious bias to motivated acts of prejudice. They include the tolerance of or indifference to the under-representation, differential success and advancement, or experience of Black people in the university.

In fact many of the people inhabiting islands within the Polynesian triangle and those who proudly call themselves People of the Pacific or Pacific Islanders first migrated from West Africa. Hell, there’s even a place called Melanesia. The White-washing of history, mass genocide and raping of local people has lead many to believe this is not true but I know y’all see the physical features the same way I do. I touched on a lot of this in my pieces Moana is Trash and The AAPI Acronym.

mayed is a design researcher and creative strategist. They bring a critically-informed approach to community-centered design that seeks to advance culturally thriving and sustainably empowering outcomes. Inside and out, mayed is an abolitionist at heart. They seek to articulate the ways in which carceral logics and discourses are reproduced in our lives, and dream of the ways in which we can liberate ourselves and reclaim the freedom to define our own realities.

his is exactly why whenever “the female dollar” or “women’s rights” are mentioned the same White women are showcased without any mention of anyone else effected. The truth is this mediocracy is praised and expected. The idea that White women represent all women is why she has such a cult like following. I covered a lot more on this in my piece The Extremely Intentional Disconnect but you’re still a “Swiftie” because you love not being held accountable for your actions and hope that with very little change to your harmful behavior you’ll be given the same handclaps she receives.

I now know “alternative music” is a genre created to place music White people have appropriated from others. These tactics continue and White people continue to genre hop without hesitation and with little resistance, see Post Malone.

Obella is a DEI specialist, licensed Psychology Associate, and creative artist who loves to talk about identity, cultivate growth environments, and strategize on how to turn compassion into action. As The Radical Empath, Obella aims to use his years of experience and his lens as a Black, queer, second-generation East African man to decolonize toxic belief systems and reframe them to empower folks to be the most authentic versions of themselves, and create an accepting community of healing.

When Janelle shared that they were nonbinary, I remember one post saying that “it’s never okay to assume someone’s identity before they share it but Janelle has always been nonbinary to me.” This validated so much for me. Janelle also shared this information for the first time with Black women on a Black show, this was a great example of Blackness of Queerness coexisting without one being prioritized over the other.

A trans flag and a nonbinary flag meet at the middle. In front of them are people sitting at a table asking questions.

Separating nonbinary people from transness feels like confirmation of cis people’s beliefs that even in transness the gender binary must still be upheld. I wrote on my own understanding of this in Trans Enough. I understand to be trans is to not align with the gender assigned to you at birth, which I do not therefore I am trans. When I see “Nonbinary AND Transgender” it feels like saying “well there’s these people and they're not trans but they’re not cis either”.

I do know that a lot of people do this to ensure nonbinary people know they are being included but in a roundabout way it feels the opposite.

Last year I was a guest on a podcast focused on racial ambiguity, Our True Colors. I shared that “ambiguity only exists when specificity isn’t present and assumptions are prioritized in exchanges.”

In real life people are proud of where they’re from and who they are. In real life people poke ambiguity with a “stick” often. People, White people, are always asking “where are you really from?”

This leads to one of the top questions around Bonnie being about her ethnicity.

Many creators in my circle have had the same experiences. I think the most telling part for me, is their Top Voices choices along with the choices they choose to amplify on their own page, it’s always the same types of professionals. LinkedIn has also began prioritizing TikTok stars instead of those who create exclusively on their platform.

The artist, Nadia Snopek, is White and likely did not consult a single Black person before publishing. In the originally mentioned conversation, Ku’ulani Keohokalole (She/Her/‘Oia), shared something I’ll never forget. She shared that “When people say they ‘don’t care if people are blue, purple, or green’, I tell them there are no blue, purple, or green people. People don’t come in those colors, so what are you really saying?”

Rahimeh Ramenzany (She/Her) was a guest on my podcast, Absolutely Not!, almost 2 years ago. She was an absolute delight and she is the reason I have my name pronunciation visible in a lot of places.

When I first saw Moana, I cried and I was proud. After I was able to process the film for the moldy crumbs that it is, I was then able to see how ambiguous, exploitative and unfulfilling the film is. It’s beyond heart wrenching to know this is the amount of representation we’ll receive and that no other parts of our cultures will be emphasized because of greed.

I have been Queer my entire life.

I never got the chance to “come out” because I’ve always been me. I shared a lot about my thoughts on “coming out” and my journey on Chris Angel (they/them) Murphy’s podcast Allyship Is A Verb. Last year, I used the word Queer for the first time publicly to describe myself because I was assumed an ally. For me Queerness is the ability to move freely outside of the boxes they’d like to put us in. It’s permission to love and be loved exactly as you are. I have been Queer my entire life!