Recently I posted that DEI is in fact dead. The lack of upcoming Black History month engagements for the 3rd year in a row, visibly by organizations who swore up and down they were not being "performative" is all the validation I needed. 

With multiple genocides occurring worldwide and many of us seeing firsthand how the media is corruptly covering it all, it has become clearer the power we all have by simply speaking. They know this and are afraid. They know this and are doing everything they can to get us to laugh instead of demand they listen.

You can't revive something that was always meant to be taken out back and shot at the first hiccup.

This continues to happen and unfortunately some melanated White people are surprised when their proximity to violent Whiteness gets them harmed as well. They enter violent White spaces using the same mannerisms and words believing that’s enough to keep them from being harmed from the same violent systems, beliefs, and actions. The truth is it will never be.

The announcement of Dr. Claudine Gay's resignation from Harvard reminds me of the amazing interview I had with Dr. Janice Asare Gassam where she authentically shared she got her PHD to "move closer to Whiteness".

There are very few things I can count on in this world but the harmful behavior of White women is one of them.

Robin and K discussed how much poverty sucks and how capitalism keeps us in survival mode, far from thriving.

The centering of Whiteness, White experiences and White feelings is excruciatingly apparent in those books. Thinness is mentioned often throughout the pieces along with the tying of monetary hoarding to success. There’s absolutely no mention of race, sexual orientation, gender beyond the binary or life outside of marriage, motherhood, business and?

In my work on psychological safety, I constantly note the needed foundations for safe relationships: trust, honesty, respect and the prioritization of safety throughout. They are all intertwined and it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Yet we see these seemingly basic human needs being dismissed by people in positions of power daily.

This article on how the Holocaust is being weaponized to justify the suffering of others is a glaring example of what happens when we don’t acknowledge and heal from harm that’s been caused to us and our communities. Similar to the way Black communities globally have had our healing excruciatingly prolonged because of re-written history that refuses any true acknowledgement of the atrocities our ancestors experienced or that we continue to experience. In my piece I Want a White History Month, I write about this large gaping hole left in White people that they attempt to fill with appropriation, deceit and more recently the support of genocide. All these uncared for wounds are bound to be internalized or spread to others.

While people in Ukraine were met with "they look like us", I cannot help but notice that even though some Palestinians look like Europeans they are not receiving the same messages.

Since the summer of 2020, it has been more apparent than ever that White people will weaponize anything they can to cling to Whiteness, including Blackness.

Queerness and Transness make me nostalgic often. I shared recently how Janelle Monae was the most amazing person I ever saw back in 2010 and continues to make me feel seen. I also shared in an interview how the extremely problematic show a Shot of Love with Tila Tequila was the first time I learned the word bisexual and felt like I could finally articulate who I was.

Netflix’s recommendations along with animated shows from my childhood are products of “the Two White Girl Rule” which itself is a product of White Supremacy. It creates imaginary scarcity and pits people who are not White against each other for these usually stereotype-filled roles that often refuse to allow people to exist outside of several binaries. It also almost always doubles down on the big ass racial umbrellas, never giving any depth to the culture, values or traditions of girls featured that are not White because what else is there to know about them other than their skin color and/or eye shape?

These scenes, characters and films make it harder and harder for these behaviors (Blackface, misogynoir, colorism, transphobia, anti-Blackness, etc.) to be labeled as harmful and for those being harmed not to be dismissed or gaslit. It should also be noted that a lot of these underlying behaviors (gaslighting, manipulation, rejection of accountability, stunted emotional maturity, etc.) and narcissism go hand in hand. Harmful behavior does not need to be framed as comical and it most certainly does not need a laugh track.

“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”

My ex-husband is White. I'm trying to remember a time I was around his family and not absolutely horrified by their actions.

The people that do need advocacy are the people stating the harms or bringing harms to your attention, or having a trying to have a conversation with you on how to best move forward in the relationship, and you advocating for someone who's not even a part of the relationship is telling to say the least.