And the fake it till you make it, I see that more a skill set for most people, but with Black people, it's not only a skill set, it's it's the way we have to navigate ourselves in this world. It's the way we have to carry ourselves, it's the way we have to be-

And so colorism is something I feel I can speak directly to, because any anything can be a source of that for someone else, right? For some people, it's sizes, and for some people, it's ableism, transphobia, you know? So a lot of these social problems can have this a similar impact on other people, depending on their identity, and because of my particular identity and experiences, I feel like I can speak to colorism in a way that does create change, both for individual people but also in communities and cultures.

Being in HR and being Black, is interesting. It's one of those fields where there's an expected vibe. And I'm not that person, because my goal is to create an environment where you get to be whoever the heck you want to be all the time. I don't want you to turn things off about you.

We are not all educators and should not all be expected to be. I love talking about boundaries because they make it so easy to see how harmful people truly are after setting them. Thank you so much Jessica for reminding us of the boundaries we are allowed to set! In this episode we discuss: -Why Blackness in the workplace is different -Knowing that it's not you, it’s them -How documentation is key to being safe

What I've noticed is that narcissists don't respect boundaries. They don't have empathy when their behavior is pointed out, sometimes they'll just speed right on by it and make excuses for it, or other times, they'll just deny it. Of course, gaslighting is happening, and all of it is with the goal of centering themselves and centering themselves in other’s worlds as well.

That was my fear. ‘I don't want anyone knowing I'm Bipolar. I don't want them to think that I can't do my job. I'm the best recruiter on this team.’ But if I felt more comfortable--maybe someone else was Bipolar. We never know if we don't get to those places where we can have those conversations. It starts from the top. It starts with leadership, and then those conversations can take place.

And I was like, ‘now you're violating my boundaries in my space. And I don't have to take that.’ Suffice to say, I don't work there anymore. It is what it is. But that's one of many examples over the last few years where me establishing my boundaries, creates major issues for White people and People of Color who have adjacency and access to little nuggets of White privilege that they like to use against other people.