The heart wrenching truth is: a lot of us are going to die as someone other than our most authentic selves because of how unsafe the world is if we do otherwise.

I purposefully use a lot of widely recognized mental health language in my work. AntiBlackness is also creating separate words to describe our symptoms instead of simply including us in the conversations. 

I recently shared with a client that I don’t use the words “allies”, “ally” or “allyship” in my work. I have said this before but I refuse to use language that I don’t know or I don't agree with the origin of.

Sunday night someone made a fake email address in order to pay to see my Ko‑fi content. The very next morning, I received an email from people who have caused me immense harm.

I've touched on this a lot in my work but I don't think I've ever really spelled it out. White supremacy, capitalism, the patriarchy and all harm birthed from these beliefs are fueled by self hate. 

I speak often in my work on how the fields of psychology and mental health are extremely dismissive in their language and continue to center Whiteness in diagnosis (The Face of PTSD and Trauma Doesn't Skip Generations). As we enter the second half of "the year of truth" it becomes clearer how purposeful this is and why the "powers that be" can't be honest about all the harm being caused.

Now why would y'all delete and limit comments if you "want to make this right"? Why would you still propose I work with y'all again without even once mentioning my content calling out your harmful behavior?

If your journey towards expunging antiBlackness from yourself and your work is dependent solely on the amount of free Black labor presented to you in a comfortable manner then...

Dangling a carrot in front of somebody who is starving is exploitative. It's fucked up. It is a way to get somebody to do something that they wouldn't normally have done, because you are promising to provide something. You know that the individuals you're inviting need money, so you saying it as an incentive so that we show up is exploitative and manipulative. Don't do that.

After my post about the AANHPI ‘Ohana Center of Excellence, I also decided to call in the other person who didn't get paid because they did not support me loudly like I thought they would especially after they applauded me in the DMs. They then admitted they didn't plan to because of their connection to the center. 

The word community is being tossed around a lot now and I want us all to be clear about the "communities" being built. The way y'all paid White women 10k to be in an exclusive "community" that gave nothing in return, while a lot of us are out here struggling, still stings til this day.

I see a lot of other disabled creators push out content daily and sometimes I feel as if I'm not doing enough. This along with the way disability is measured, "rewarded" and scrutinized makes it sometimes difficult for me to be honest about my needs and how my disabilities affect me. 

When White women used to attempt to connect with me they'd always share about their "purple house". They'd say even though they and their partners had extremely differing views on "politics" and humanity as a whole that they still had a loving household.

I haven't gotten my hair "done" in years and I completely forgot how differently people treat you. Random White women complimenting my hair was all the push I needed to bring it up in my next therapy session.

During the summer of 2020 I worked at a nonprofit with a leadership team comprised of all older White women. At meetings they would encourage us to read Brené Brown's Dare to Lead, a book which they had purchased several copies of and disbursed throughout the office. I would end up leaving the role after repeatedly being met with racism, homophobia, ableism and anti-Blackness. 

Abuse on several levels can cause irreversible harm.

Recently I posted that DEI is in fact dead. The lack of upcoming Black History month engagements for the 3rd year in a row, visibly by organizations who swore up and down they were not being "performative" is all the validation I needed. 

With multiple genocides occurring worldwide and many of us seeing firsthand how the media is corruptly covering it all, it has become clearer the power we all have by simply speaking. They know this and are afraid. They know this and are doing everything they can to get us to laugh instead of demand they listen.

You can't revive something that was always meant to be taken out back and shot at the first hiccup.